Me too.
Now I'm not sure how much this actually helps, but here is what I believe he was trying to say:
News flash: Obama won the election.
Now prepare to reap the whirlwind, America!
Partisan Democrats, fear not. There are lots of goodies in store for you.
I know, I know - $3.55 trillion is just a drop in the bucket, and clearly not enough for the Dems to drop-kick the economy out of its doldrums, enact Canadian-style, government-mandated 'universal' health-care and simultaneously pay off their myriad political constituencies.
But remember, this is only Phase 1.
We’ll pay for this budget through a combination of mind-blowing levels of borrowing, taxing the rich, running Medicare more efficiently, and projected revenues of…let’s make it $645 billion from the sale of emission allowances.
I must say I get a thrill up my leg just thinking about how all that just locks right in! So sophisticatedly brilliant, yet so simple! This really is change we can all believe in! Except for maybe George W. Bush.
Boy, what a dunce that guy was, huh?
But I digress…
Now, annoying little gnats like Jake Tapper will probably ask, “Can Obama really halve the deficit in five years?”
Hello?! Three words for you, Jake: Yes We Can!
Indeed, the deficit Obama inherited from Bush - then promptly tripled - is ginormous. However, if you close your eyes, hold your breath, and keep your fingers crossed, it might just be temporary. And the numbers shape up even better if we don’t spend another dime in Iraq or Afghanistan, and cut military spending in general by at least 10%.
Voila! Deficit halved by 2013!
“Paul, what about the interest costs of all that borrowed money?”
Let me educate you on Keynesian economic theory. When it comes to government borrowing, interest costs are trivial. Or, if you prefer, they may be considered part of the ‘investment.’ (Note: This is only true under Democratic administrations. Under GOP rule, every borrowed dollar is morally reprehensible). And did you know that even if you borrow trillions of dollars, you only have to pay back billions in interest? How cool is that?
Having said all this, I'm afraid our economic prognosis is still very, very bleak. If another crisis happens, we’re screwed beyond our wildest imagination. So the middle class would be well-advised to prepare for crushing, value-added tax increases in the not-so-distant future. Not to mention hyper-inflation.
And if you are wondering whether you are ‘middle class’ – the answer is yes.
But let’s not be too hard on Obama in all of this. He’s doing the best he can, under the circumstances. Lord knows he trying! The economy is an awfully difficult thing to grasp, and remember Obama is still so new at all of this. For cryin’ out loud, this is his very first executive post! Give him a chance!
Bottom line: This budget looks very, very good.
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